Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Dear I'm Not Ready For A Relationship

Dear I'm Not Ready For A Relationship,

Too late.  You meet someone. You are attracted to them for whatever reason. You exchange personal information with them.  Spend your free time  with them.    Call them late in the night and tell them your secrets.  Call them when you get a break from work.  Call them when you don't really have time but just because you want to hear their voice. Hold hands in public.  Make them dinner. Eat from the same utensils.  Share your food, your body, your ideas.  Introduce them to  your parents, your friends, your co-workers.  Guess what? YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP.  You don't prepare for it.  It just happens.  I am sure all the people in your life you call friend are not in your life because of some calculated move or pre-meditated plan on your part.  You met, you clicked , you consistently keep in touch, you're friends.  You have a relationship with them.  Same goes for that man or woman you met and wanted to get to know better.  The "getting to know you better" part is how it all starts. Don't use that line if you know you are not ready to be in a relationship with that person.  That line screams relationship of some kind.

Now, be honest.  You are ready for relationships.  You are simply bored of the person you formed the relationship with and now you want to bail.  It happens.  That's when you say something like, "this is not working for me" or "I don't want to be with you" or even get hard core and just say "I'M OUT".  Those lines work.  They may hurt but they are simple, honest and  there's no gray area. Saying, "I'm not ready for a relationship" after being in a person's life for months or years is confusing and in some cases may cause  you bodily harm. That's what you say to yourself  BEFORE you spend time to get to know somebody better. I know what you are thinking but don't worry about whether or not everybody will label  you as a cowardly ass, because they will.  They do.  And you are. And it's okay.  That's how we learn.

BOTTOM LINE: You don't GET READY for a relationship.  You GET READY FOR THE PROM!


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