Dear Man At My Local McDonald's,
Do you have to use the outdoor dining area at McDonald's to smoke and drink and practice your cat calls on teenage girls? THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT! HAVE SOME RESPECT. Are all the street corners in Los Angeles occupied therefore you had to move to the patio at McDonald's to spew your sexual comments? You break a little bit of a young girl's spirit every time you say things like, "I want to do you real hard so you will have a good orgasm." Are you serious? Is there not some strip club you can go to? I see plenty of ads for them. What, too pricey? Can't afford the minimum drink requirement? The 99cent Sweet Tea that they sell at McDonald's is more in your price range? Add a little liquor to it and you have your self a Long Island Iced Tea... Micky Dee's style. Is that what gives you the courage to do what you do?
Do you feel that badly about your life that you have to ruin one of America's greatest dining rituals. Has it come to this? Are you not aware that parents flock to those golden arches to feed their children a high fat diet filled with gluten and high fructose corn syrup that gives their kids just enough energy to play on that primary colored playground and then crash in their strollers on the way home? It's pretty much an American tradition and the people at McDonald's are smart enough to put that tradition in a box, throw in a toxic plastic toy and call it a Happy Meal. Don't ruin it by shouting nasty comments to young girls. CHILDREN HEARD YOU! I HEARD YOU! EVERYBODY HEARD YOU! You got the attention you wanted now STOP IT. STAY AWAY FROM THE GOLDEN ARCHES! Don't taint this rites of passage practiced by mom and dads all across America. Don't do it. Be better than that. Let the kids have a happy meal.
MDW
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